wow, if this keeps up i'll have a whole book of material...

All I want for christmas
is two extra right hands
so I can ensure people
are really utilizing their dental plans

because if you asked me,
and I'll keep this painfully brief
there are some folks in the world
that could stand to be missing
their two front teeth

now I know Santa
supposedly has coal
and a list of those mean deserving souls
but not being the one to shirk my responsibility
I'm up for punching people in the face
to retain some stability

How much dumber would Dubya sound
with his two front teeth rattling around on the ground
Wrapping his lips around "stay the course"
with a red mouthful of gauze.

Would Cheney be so quick to curse out a fellow
if his teeth were on the floor, all rotten and yellow?
Would Condaleeza be so keen to tell torturing lies
when elevator music and novacain muffled her cries?

Ann Coulter, O'Reilly, and Hannity too,
we'll start a toothless moron cage
at the conservative zoo
Let's see you spread your toxinous profanity
with the top of your mouth bleeding profusely.

All I want for Christmas is
to knock out their teeth
so they can no longer lie
no longer deceive.

Sadly, one day
would simply not be enough.

Thankfully, I'm Jewish,
and get EIGHT DAYS of stuff.